When it tells you to use a pea-sized amount, it's not lying.

So I ordered a few products from Sephora last week...ya know...cause I want to feel all cool and trendy and stuff. But I digress.

Apparently Sephora sends free samples of their products with all orders, so I received a few different perfume samples, as well as some moisturizers, a bronzer, and a Fekkai hair cream. I've seen that name in my In Style magazine before (yeah, cause I'm the furthest thing from style...but again, I digress) and knew this was some fancy hoity toity brand, so I was excited to use it this morning.

The package tells you to use a pea-sized amount, and rub it through damp hair. Well, I'm at the gym and have nowhere to store the open package without getting it all over EVERYTHING in my gym bag, so I decide to just suck it up and use the whole package.

Big mistake. I'm like a walking oil slick. Just call me The Fonze.

Seriously, gross.

And this it begins.

This semester is going to kill me. Literally.

I started class on Wednesday, and as I previously mentioned, I had this brilliant idea to have both of my classes on one day.

Dumb.

Ok, in the sense of, I only have to drive out to school one time a week (an hour each way) that works out well. And to save gas $$...of course.

To save sanity? Not so much.

I wake up @ 4:30...leave for work by 5:30...(there's a 15 minute bout of warming up my car since it was f*ing 15 below out for TWO DAYS this week...) and start work at 6. I'm out of work by 2:30, get to school around 3:40ish...make a mad dash for the bathroom (I learned an important lesson my first day: don't stop to use a bathroom at a gas station in the city of Chicago. Just don't.) and then take a few minutes to collect my thoughts before searching for my classroom. Upon entering, I always have to to a thorough review of the seats in the room, hoping and praying for one that's big enough that I can sit comfortably for 3 hours.

Yeah, didn't get so lucky this time. My classes are in the science building, and the seats (I'm talking old school desk built into chair) are circa 1970...when most women were skinny from their coke habits. And I'm not talking cola. Luckily there was one regular table and chair (reserved for the wheel chair bound...but since there weren't any wheel chair bound students in the class) which I claimed. It's in the front row of the room, which I DESPISE sitting in, but for lack of any better choices, I took. The prof for this class seems cool. She's from NY (the Bronx, I believe she said) and talks 90 mph, but cool nonetheless. After our lame-o introductions, she immediately jumped into the syllabus, and filled us in on EVERYTHING we'd have to do for the semester.

Shoot me now. 20 hours of classroom observation required. That means taking off work. Yippee. 1/2 way through the class she gave us a two minute break (two minutes? Gee, thanks. That's just enough time to pee AND wash my hands.) After the break, we resumed class, going full on into the first lesson. Oh boy. LOTS of material. Lots.

She let us out 5 minutes early, which gave me 15 minutes in which to pee (again. Yes, I drink a lot of water.) Call J and have a quick smoke. (Lectures not necessary, thank you.)

Class #2. 1/2 of my first class was in the 2nd class, so most of us were familiar with one another, which was cool. Female prof again...this one was much younger...maybe 30. She's one of those cool chicks that wears combat boots, has multi-colored hair and crazy ear piercings. This chick knows her stuff though...you can just tell. Anybody that uses the word "pedagogy" on the first day is definitely in the know. (Yeah, I had to look it up.) She let us out 45 mins early (Thank God!) So I was home by 10. The rest of the semester, it'll be closer to 11.

Like I said, it's gonna be tough. I thought last semester was hard? Please. It was a cakewalk compared to what I know I have in store for me now. But, I'll manage. Somehow.

So I have to drive out to school today to purchase the rest of my books, which the damned bookstore didn't have on Weds. Ugh. What a hassle. And the idiots in the financial aid office have yet to apply my loan to my account, so I can't even purchase my books with a book waiver. Thank god for Discover card, I suppose.

In other news, it's 17 days into the new year, and my weight has ultimately stayed the same. I'm not off to a very good start, which I can say I'm a bit disappointed in myself. I've found myself night eating A LOT...more so than normal. If only there was a bathroom next to my bedroom, all would be well. I really need to make a more conscious effort to quit scamming for candy in the afternoons at work, and only eat dinner when I get home. I wish I could find the root cause (eww, a work term) of my insane sugar addiction, and murder it. (It's the boy...meaning my brother. This week he made cinnamon raisin bread and chocolate chip cookies. Note to self: kill the boy.)

Well, I need to start my day. A sinkful of dishes are waiting. Need to hit the gym. Have lots of reading to do. Have to write two papers. Oh yeah, and go buy those pesky books.

Ed McMahon, I'm still waiting for the check...

So here's my question...

How do you count the calorie content of your morning coffee?

No really?

I'll be damned if I'm going to be the only loser standing in the coffee line in the cafeteria, tablespoon in hand. Nobody measures that stuff...that's insanity, I say!

Suggestions?

Maybe I'm pregnant.

Ok, so probably not...but something's gotta give. My weight has gone up almost every day this year thus far. I'm now at 282.4 as of this morning. What gives? Granted, I haven't been getting to the gym every day, but still...it's outta control. I'm not on the rag...and not PMSing....I just don't understand it. I did have 2 beers last night..and 4 hot wings...and some mustard pretzels.

It had to be Jack's chocolate chocolate chip muffins. I don't know why he insists on baking all the time...he NEVER eats what he bakes. I take care of that for him. But damn, these muffins are INCREDIBLE! They're very comparable to the Otis Spunkmeyer brand...probably in calorie content as well.

Argh. It's frustrating. You try something so hard and just can't get it right. In fact, you see the opposite results. I could deal if the scale stayed the same everyday...but going up every day is getting out of hand. And yes, I know you're not supposed to weigh every day, but I need to keep it in check. If I only stepped on once a week, I'd have a heart attack by the time I saw that #...ya know?

I'm at a loss anymore. I guess I'll just keep going...

D'oh!

So...guess who forgot to set their alarm last night...and didn't wake up until 7:30 when her body said to her, "Hey A-Hole! You'd better get up if you don't want to be late for work, idiot!" She can be a real bitch before her morning coffee.

I was all pumped up for another rousing round of "Treadmilling with the Golden Girls." Damn.

I'm going tonight. Scouts honor.

**Ok, so I was never a Girlscout. But I'll go, I swear!"

Treadmill + Golden Girls = Awesome Workout!

Well kids, I finally made it to the gym this morning. I was so freakin' exhausted last night that I passed out by 9pm, and didn't wake up until 6am. Much needed sleep I tell you. I arrived around 6:45, in fear that the place would be jam packed with early morning gym rats...but was pleasantly surprised to find it wasn't crazy at all. I'm wondering if it was a fluke, as we had another wonderful snow storm yesterday. Like I said though...a great deal of the crowd at this gym is older folks...so they must straggle in later.

I hopped on the treadmill (ok, stepped gracefully. I don't hop.) and starting perusing through the channels. I first stopped on a design show, but wasn't in the mood to watch people with nice homes. It makes me jealous. I kept on flipping...and then I found it.

GOLDEN GIRLS!

It's only one of my all-time favorite shows EVER!

"Now look here you withered old Sicilian Monkey!" Dorothy.

Seriously...my life is complete now. =)

I did 30 mins on the treadmill, throwing some intervals in every now and again. I would have attempted some weights, but I wasn't sure what the shower situation would be, so I headed into the locker room @ 7:30. As luck would have it, it was COMPLETELY empty. I was showered, dressed, and out the door by 8:06am. Which worked out well, because I decided to be adventurous and take the expressway. Dumb. Mad traffic. Oh well, I made it in time.

So, I'm now enjoying my last week of freedom before class starts (a week from tonight...gulp.) I still have 10 mags to read...and I bought the last book in the Twilight series...which according to a certain person's calculations, I'll finish by June! =) Better late than never, I suppose.

Speaking of favorite shows of all time, what are your top 5?

Mine, in no particular order:

*Golden Girls
*Seinfeld
*Family Guy
*Roseanne
*Monk
*Simpsons (ok, 6. You can't not mention the Simpsons. But I'm talking older ones...when the show wasn't clearly passed its prime.)

And life has resumed as normal

Stressed out and desperately wishing I could be independently wealthy. It only took two days of being back at work to bring out the best in me! I swear to you; I would be happy and healthy if I didn't have to spend 40 hours a week in that hell hole. Or if I at least had my old position back. Argh. Plus, my sleep schedule has been totally out of whack the last two nights...I haven't gotten to sleep until at least 1am.

Ok, so I did stay up until 12:30 watching Bret Michaels new Rock of Love. Why? I don't know. I think it makes me feel better about myself. I know that's twisted logic, but think about it. 1/2 of these women are certifiably insane, and comprised of nothing but plastic and silicone. There was one particular scene in which one girl was taking a shot out of another girl's...how do I put this delicately?....hoo ha? You get the picture.

Watching that shit makes me realize how truly sanemy life really is. Thank god for real boobs and non-Buick sized lips.

I haven't made it to the gym since Friday. Bad Kelly, I know. This lack of sleep has thrown my body completely out of whack...but I swear to you, I'm going tomorrow morning. In fact, as soon as I'm done with this, I'm taking a shower and going to sleep. I'm in bed by 9pm....I mean it.

Sorry for the lackluster post...it's just been one of those days.

Day (3) and 4

Saturday January 3rd (day 3) was spent at Jonah's house, attempting to help him organize his room. Jonah has a problem. Something that requires a 12 step program of sorts...if he would ever admit that he has this problem.

Jonah is addicted to electronics.

In the 7 years we've been together (yes, 7 years. And we've somehow managed not to mame or murder each other yet..go figure.) he's had at least 10 different cell phones...that I can remember. The boy has this serious need for old VCR's...video cameras...and wires galore. It took about 2 hours, but we sifted through this huge BIN of wires...there must have been at least 1,000 different wires (cables, plugs, USB...you name it, it was in there.) that we organized.

I guess you can count that as my workout for the day. More of an exercise in patience than anything.

We ended up coming back to my house and going out for pizza. For those of you who aren't from the great windy city, this is where we went. http://www.giordanos.com/
In the words of Rachel Ray; Delish! Saturday night is my cheat night...I allow myself to have "one good meal..." and believe me, this was. We finished it off by splitting this AWESOME hot fudge sundae covered with crushed Oreos. Oh my god it was awesome. (There's no better date than sitting in the parking lot eating ice cream when it's 25 outside!)

Unfortunately I have to go back to work tomorrow (Boo...I know. I haven't mastered that independently wealthy thing quite yet...but no worries...I'm working on it!) so I'm hanging around the house doing some laundry and getting things in order once again. Damn...I hate returning to real life!

On a side note...I went to my new gym for the first time on Friday. It's really cute. The whole gym is based on racquetball..with at least 15 different courts. The Glass Court (the name of the gym) is directly in the middle of the building, and all of the cardio machines face it. I'm not sure how you actually get a game in the glass court, but I'm thinking it's some sort of privilege to play in there. Enough about that..let me tell you about the cardio machines.

I'm in LOVE with them! They have built in TV's, and you simply have to supply your own headphones, and you're set! I did 30 mins on the treadmill, and another 30 mins on the elliptical, all while watching "What not to Wear." Genius I say, freaking genius. (I've only done 60 mins of straight cardio one other time in my life...and I thought I was going to DIE! Oh television, I do appreciate thee in times of need!) So I start at the gym tomorrow morning before work...and am hoping the pre-work crowd isn't too crazy. I guess I'll get there at 6:30...workout for an hour...start my shower/dressing routine @ 7:30 and try to leave by 8:20ish. I'm sure I'll have to adjust things as needed...but I have a feeling the patrons of this gym are generally an older crowd, and come later in the day. Here's hopin!

Oh yeah, one more thing before I go. I had an epiphany in the shower the other day (I too do some of my best thinking in there...weird.) and thought to myself, "Self? Wouldn't it be awesome if you only had to drive out to class ONE night a week vs TWO?" So I logged onto my school site to see if by chance they offered both of my classes on one night.

THEY DID!!

So now I only go to class on Wednesdays...which is going to be a killer day. I'm going to get up at 4:30 to be to work by 6am. Leave work at 2:30 for my 4:15 class. I'll have class from 4:15-6:55 and then my other class from 7:05-9:45. It's going to be a LONG day, but I'll only have to drive out there once a week, which will save me bucko bucks on gas. (Not to mention my sanity!)

Yay for shower epiphany's!

Alright kids...my washer just stopped, so it's time to tend to laundry. Yippee.

Have a good one!

(PS..I will have new pics soon...but I apparently fried my USB ports when my basement flooded...so they'll be up soon...I promise. Look at me...I'm writing to an audience as if somebody actually reads this!)

Day 2

Ya know, I could really get used to this not working thing. Perhaps not the not getting paid part of it, but I've really enjoyed having more than a few days off of work at at time. It's given me the opportunity to catch up on reading, projects around the house...not to mention SLEEPING IN! I actually slept until 10am today! (And was in bed by midnight. Wow!) Now I just have to work on becoming independently wealthy so I don't have to work anymore. Ah yes, a girl can dream.

So January 1st was pretty successful, all things considered. I took down the Christmas decorations (I've never been one to let decorations linger much past the actual holiday...it bugs me...)read a few magazines...read quite a few chapters of Eclipse (I'm going to finish that damned book today Brooke, I swear!) and watched all too many episodes of Monk, on the Monk Marathon. (It's one of my favorite shows...very well written!)

I did every well eating a healthy menu yesterday. I made this killer omelet with onion, mushroom and some cheddar cheese. I also juiced some carrot/apple/broccoli juice to go along with it. There's something about juicing and drinking fresh juice the moment after it's crushed from the life of the original fruit that just makes you feel good. One must remember all parts of the juicer for this to be effective, though. Last week I pulled the whole contraption out and attempted to juice, but forgot to put the "junk catcher" behind it, and ended up shooting apple guts all over the kitchen counter, and said appliances sitting there. Nobody ever told me I might not have been born a blonde.

No exercise yesterday. My new gym was closed...and I frankly make a habit out of just hanging around the house and relaxing New Year's Day. Today will be different. As soon as I'm done here, I'm gonna go change and head over to the new gym. I even got a little crazy yesterday and shaved my legs and applied some self tanner...the other poor gym patrons don't need to see my ghastly white Casper-esque legs in their au natural state. I'm almost albino!

I did have an episode of night eating last night. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it...but I have this problem. I'll wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and end up in the kitchen rummaging for sweets. Most of the time, I'm not even fully awake when I do it. I ate two pieces of garlic bread (they were sitting out on the counter...easy access) and then I proceeded to find some sugar free cookies and the Cool Whip in the fridge. I think I learned this habit from my mother...she was REALLY bad about it. Unfortunately we only have one bathroom in the house, conveniently located next to the kitchen. This is one bad habit of mine I'm going to have to learn to break..it'll completely sabotage any efforts I'm making. One day at a time, I suppose.

I did have some pics to post...of my gorgeous juice from yesterday, but apparently my computer doesn't feel like recognizing my camera at the moment, so I'll get those up later. Alright kids...I have to get my ass out of the house and to the gym before I waste anymore time.

Happy January 2nd!

Day 1

I'm back. It's 12:39 on January 1st 2009. How many more days until Spring? It's a whopping 16 degrees outside right now...nothing like a warm welcome for the new year, eh? I'm home. Alone. All is quiet in the house and I'm drinking water. I came home to find freshly baked crusty rolls awaiting my return. Luckily I had a HUGE dinner (we're talking mushroom & swiss burger with fries AND something called "chocolate nachos" for dessert. I'm not sure what it was, but there was chocolate, ice cream and fudge. What more could a girl need to go out with a bang, eh?) so they weren't even tempting. Oh yeah...and I had one beer the whole night. It just wasn't doing it for me. Of course, it could have been the lame-o bowling alley we went to. This place was meant for yuppies...the kind of idiots who would be willing to pay $65/HR TO BOWL! WHO DOES THAT? We bitched and were only charged the per game charge. Ick. I hate yuppie places like that. A bowling alley is supposed to be filled with big bearded bikers, smoky air and Zeppelin. Not a DJ. And movies playing above the lanes. Dumb!

So, I'm sitting here drinking WATER (yay!) and preparing myself to go to bed at 1am on New Year's Day. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not one to pass up a night of drinking every now and again...but I HATE being hung over and wasting the majority of the next day dead to the world on the couch, taking all too many trips to "refund," if you follow me. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to a day of feeling good, and making healthy choices. My new gym is closed tomorrow, so perhaps I'll go for a walk. (It's supposed to be a whopping 34 tomorrow...talk about a heat wave!) Or if I'm feeling crazy, I'll pop in a workout DVD. Who knows.

Well kids, I'm gonna go wash off the warpaint and head to bed. Here's to a fabulous beginning to 2009!