Hi Mom.

Well here we are...February 21st. You've been gone 3 years now. 3 whole years, can you believe it?

Neither can I.

So much has happened since you left us...it's incredible how time truly does fly. Christ..I'm 26 now...Jack turned 20 last month...wow..we're getting old. You would have been 54 this year. Life truly happens when you're not looking, doesn't it?

Let's see..what to tell what to tell.

Cheree's little guy Jacob...he's coming upon 2 and a 1/2 in a few months. He's too insanely adorable...you would have loved this kid had you had the chance to meet him. I don't want kids...but hanging out with that little man almost makes me want to reconsider. =)

Speaking of kids...guess who's pregnant...with twins?!? Are you sitting? Miss Melissa! Can you believe it? Little Melissa is all grown up and having twins. I almost died when Dawn called me with the news. Mama to be stopped by the house last weekend to tell me all about it. Man..talk about surreal. I've known her since she was in kindergarten. And now she's having a baby. 2 of them. Exciting, isn't it?

Miss Angie is getting married in October, and I'm her maid of honor. I'm totally looking forward to it...we have the dresses picked out and everything. (They're a chocolate brown color...and very flattering...considering only one member of the bridal party is thin. Needless to say there is work to be done on the weight loss front. As always.) I'm going to make a few picture slide shows for the reception...and give the speech. Yeah..I'm really excited about that. The last time I gave a public speech..well, it was at your funeral. Talk about life coming full circle.

Mr. Jack is doing very well. He's in the culinary program at COD...and he's always cooking some kind of sugary, chocolately goodness. I'm convinced he's trying to murder me. Or drive me insane...one of the two. He's also a supervisor at Panera now...talk about the big time. You'd be proud...the boy is doing very well for himself. He still hangs out with the same old goons...Vinnie, Cody...you remember. Good Kids.

Jonah and I have been together just over 6 years now. And yes, he's still the same old Jonah. Other than the car he drives, nothing, and I repeat nothing has changed with him. Perhaps someday I'll have news to report. Until then...

As for me...I'm living life. I'm back at home. After Melissa's father passed away last May, the apartment thing fell apart, so I had no choice but to come back home. You can guess how enthralled I was to do that...but sometimes in life you have to do things you don't want. Obviously. I'm still trying to lose weight...I sadly gained back 50 of the 100lbs I had originally lost over the past 2 years. I have nobody to blame but myself. And I own up to it. I know what I have to do, and I'm doing it....slowly but surely. It's a lot harder the second time around...but tell me what isn't?

What else, what else? I'm still working at VideoJet. This September will be two years for me there. I seem to have a knack for what I do...at least thats what my customers tell me. I'll be honest...it's not something I plan to do for the rest of my life...but it's not a bad starting point. And it's definintely a great company to work for. I guess I'm pretty blessed.

I really want to go to grad school...but damnit, I'm so lazy. I talked to Aunt Jackie about it...and I think she might be able to guide me in the right direction. As much as I love the corporate world, and my cube...I want to teach. I want to stand in front of a room full of eager students, and empower them with the gift of speaking. Or at least pretend I know what I'm talking about. =)

A week ago today there was a shooting at NIU. It's really weird...you hear about these horrors all of the time...but it's different when it's happens somewhere you spent 4 years of your life. The gunman was an NIU grad...killed 6 people, including himself, in Cole Hall. I had my very first college class there...as well has my very last. I remember walking out of that building after my very last final, thinking to myself, "See you later, Cole Hall." Who knows if I ever will again? Melissa and I plan on making a trip out to good ol' DeKalb in a few weeks. It's going to be totally surreal.

Dawn is still living in Alaska, and sadly, I don't think she's ever coming back to Illinois. She's really happy up there, and has made a life for herself. I miss her like crazy...but I'm happy that she's happy. Perhaps I can make that same journey one day..only to a much warmer climate..like California. I'm getting really tired of dealing with winter...especially after this insane one we've been having. Needless to say, I'm highly anticipating spring. More than you could ever imagine.

Well Mom, I think that about covers it for now. I still can't believe that you've been gone for 3 long years now. So much has changed in that time...but so much is still the same.

We miss you like hell, and always will. But you know something...you're still here. And I've realized that I'm a lot like you. We all are. Whenever I talk to Grandma, or Aunt Jackie...or Aunt Suzanne, I see a little part of you. And for that, I'm eternally grateful.

I hope the afterlife is treating you well. Take care of yourself...say Hi to Melissa's dad for us.

And if you feel like stopping by Earth anytime soon...feel free to drop off some winning lottery #'s. It would be greatly appreciated! =)

One more thing before I go. I remember back in the day when we'd get into fights...or you'd say something stupid and we'd laugh at you...you'd always say "You'll miss me when I'm gone."

We do.

More than you could ever imagine.